Jokes as Told to me by Zalman

A religious man goes to buy a used car. Seeing one he likes, he asks the salesman:
“How much do you want for this car?”
“20,000 dollars.”
“For this? That’s too much.”
“Oh, but let me tell you, this car doesn’t need gasoline! It runs on faith. Say ‘Thanks, God’ and it runs. Say ‘God help me’ and it stops. You won’t have to buy any gasoline, or even press any pedals!”
“Wow! Really? I’ll take it.”
After paying, the man gets into the car and says “Thanks, God.” at his good fortune. And lo, the car drove. He was so happy with the car, that he didn’t notice until the last moment that his car approached a cliff.
“God help me!” He said. And the car stopped.
“Whew!” he said. “Thanks, God. Uh oh.”